WELL, HELLO AGAIN

I'm back. I really did not have time before to keep up with this blog and after having my Little Lamb, I certainly do not have the time now, but at least I can try, right?  Even if I only write for myself, my memories, my therapy, for the hope that just maybe someone cares enough to read about us, or just for the hell of it, I will still make it one of my priorities.  It has been a lonely road the past few years but I have made some room for new friends who are not afraid to be around my children.  They are so spirited and have so much to teach you.  Please join us with open, nonjudgemental hearts.  If you decide that we are too much to handle, don't say "it's too bad about your son because my husband and I REALLY liked you and Joey" when you are on your way out...

OUR FAMILY

There's nothing like a great family picture to capture what is important in life!  This is our first semi-professional picture (thank you Nicole!) and we had it made into a canvas.  What a great way to do something a little non-conventional!  The quality is absolutely superb and with the help of Groupon, the price was just right.  Check out Canvas On Demand to see how easy it is to showcase your important family photos! 

FRIDAY THE 13TH, 9 MONTHS LATER

I am shocked that it has been 9 months between posts!  I have been on a rollercoaster of highs and lows, much like the highs and lows of 9 months of pregnancy but with a much different outcome.  Some of you have been there for us (thank you so much!) and some have no clue as to how much the four of us have struggled over these last months.  We definitely know where we stand! 

We have loved again.
And lost again.

We have seen the light.
And then saw it fade.

We have lost sleep.
And we aren't getting it back anytime soon.

We cry over the past.
Try to stay in the present.
And be hopeful for the future.

I pose a question...

Have you ever lost something that you spent a great deal of time on?  Something that you thought was worth it?  Something that you were hoping would be there through your whole life?  I have.  After some tears, I have been able to see that my "something" was not what I thought it to be.  My "something" was, at many times, a one-way street that I willingly travelled and then got tired of the drive.  I'm mad at myself for letting it happen for so long and not standing up for myself when things were not equal or fair.  Family and friendship should always be a two-way street and I am surprised that I'm not more upset now that one of those streets has closed.

I am so thankful for the streets that remain open, despite bumps, potholes and imperfections!

It's amazing what you learn about yourself and others when you think you have hit rock bottom.  We have done so and are picking ourselves up and climbing back to the top!!!
.

{THIS MOMENT}

{this moment}

A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see. ~ Courtesy of Amanda at SouleMama

*Photo courtesy of my future photography assistant*

*

A LETTER...

Dear M. N.,

Would you be so kind as to promptly bring in the weather that hovers around the 60 degree mark?  It would be most appreciated!

(Tree) Hugs & (Butterfly) Kisses,

ME : )

P.S.....haven't been around in a lil bit? Scroll down.  I've posted. A LOT.....

*

MUFFIN TIN MONDAY

Another lunch idea courtesy of

Muffin Tin Mom...

What was served...

* Applegate Farms Chicken Sausages

* Watermelon

* Annie's White Cheddar Bunnies

* Homemade Vegetable ABC Soup

* Our favorite cucumbers

P.S....Nicholas came in while I was cooking and said, "mom, it's like you are a real chef!"  Poor child.  Maybe if he didn't take all my energy, I would have enough to actually cook more.

Maybe one day...when he moves out...he can come home for a real home cooked lunch and there will be some truth to his statement.

*

THE ZOO AND THE VIRUS

I am amazed that my passion for donating and giving back has rubbed off on my kids.  While Francesca and I were waiting for our favorite animal to take a dive into the water...

...Nicholas was using his hard earned (well, actually, won in a card game) money to "help save the polar bears because their ice is melting"...

I didn't realize at first until my mom pointed it out, but he was donating dollar after dollar (or should I say five dollars after five dollars) because he thought they needed it more than he did.  At least it proves that he DOES listen to me when it really matters!  Oh, that monkey makes me so proud to be his mamma!

We waited for twenty minutes for that darn polar bear to dive in and he never did, but at least we got to admire him up close and personal, thanks to the FANTASTIC new viewing area in the

Great Bear Wilderness at Brookfield Zoo. 

Have you been yet? 

IT'S AWESOME!!!!

The monkeys love to measure themselves on the walls that are painted with animal murals!

Finally, I bought them some new hats to play dress up with because their costume chest was lacking in animal stuff because it is so filled with chef and fireman stuff!  Grandma decided that she wanted to wear the hat first.  Here is a quiz question....

What do you call a COUGAR who is past her prime?

A WOLF!!!!

As if the zoo wasn't fun enough, we decided to end the day with a trip to the urgent care at the hospital.  Francesca had a fever for a few days prior with no other symptoms, or so I thought.  After we left the zoo, she decided to break out into a fever rash and then I noticed white sores in her mouth.  Hand-foot-mouth disease was going around. 

Could that be it?

Nope.

HERPANGINA.

Nice.

Look it up.

*

{THIS MOMENT}

{this moment}

A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see. ~ Courtesy of Amanda at SouleMama

SOME INSPIRATION...

It has been a tough couple of weeks with the kids.  I have been more stressed now that they are in summer camp.  Why is that?  You would think that maybe, just maybe, after being outside running all day long, they might be tired?  NOPE.  They have been sleeping less. What is less than nothing?  You don't want to know. 

When I am stressed about their behavior (and to be honest, mine as well, since I tend to set the tone most often) I re-read my favorite poem from an inspirational author named Sark.  I made my own colorful copy and it is framed on the wall next to the kid's bedroom.  It is often a small reminder to enjoy your kids before they are grown!  If you like her views, you can find out more about her on her website.  She talks about more than just kids, but be prepared to be overwhelmed by lots of COLORS!

"How To Really Love A Child"

* be there * say yes as often as possible * let them bang on pots and pans * if they're crabby, put them in water * if they are unlovable, love yourself * realize how important it is to be a child * go to a movie theatre in your p.j.'s * read books out loud with joy * invent pleasures together * remember how really small they are * giggle a lot * surprise them * say no when it's necessary * teach feelings * heal your own inner child * learn about parenting * hug trees together * make loving each other safe * bake a cake and eat it with no hands * go find elephants and kiss them * plan to build a rocket ship * imagine yourself magic * make lots of forts with blankets * let your angel fly * reveal your own dreams * search out the positive * keep the gleam in your eye * mail letters to God * encourage silly * plant licorice in your garden * open up * express your love * stop yelling * speak kindly * paint their tennis shoes * handle with care *

Sometimes it serves as a gentle reminder of the things that I want to do better or more often.  Sometimes it serves as reinforcement that I am doing lots of things right!  Mostly, it reminds me that, even on bad days, the most important thing to do is just be there when they need me and love them unconditionally!  You would be surprised how much your kids would appreciate a hug, a bike ride, a short (15 min.) trip to the park, a special date (with just the two of you), an unexpected treat (instead of one every single day), some undivided attention.  What have you done today to make your child (of any age) feel special???  What memories will you give them of your time together?

*

MUFFIN TIN MONDAY

So, I had been wanting to create some fun and different lunches after reading inspirational mom blogs, including the Muffin Tin Mom. She sets a theme every Monday and creates a fun lunch tin for her kids to encourage them to try new foods. Her idea was based off the popular Japanese bento boxes and my idea is inspired by both ideas. I tried an actual muffin tin several times and found a few downfalls...

* It is annoying to clean the muffin tins, as the water splashes back ten feet in the air when you rinse them.
* My muffin tins are not dishwasher safe.
* If you have leftovers, you have to store them in a separate container anyways.

Here are the positives aspects of my take on the idea...

* I like letting my kids eat from glass instead of plastic (you know, with all that yummy BPA included), silicone or metal (which is the best choice of the three)
* I love the sturdiness of Corningware Ramekins (which is what I used above)
* Besides being made of glass, they are more elegant and just, so, you know, FRENCH.
* Each ramekin is 4oz., which is the perfect 1/2 cup serving size for kids so it is easy to measure!
* They are very easy to stack in the fridge with leftovers.
* They make fun "cups" to drink milk, juice or soup from!
* Dishwasher safe.

IT'S THE SIMPLE THINGS...

...that make my Pepper happy!

Things like...
*apples
  and
*horses

We finally got to celebrate her birthday in a somewhat proper fashion.  When asked what she wanted for her birthday, every single time she would answer, "apples"!  Although it was disappointing that we had to celebrate 1/2 the day with one family and 1/2 the day with another, it was still a partial success.  I guess it is the small things that make comedy and memories.

Things like...

* losing out on tables at Arlington because their employees are not well trained
* losing out on riding the ponies at Arlington because their employees are not well trained
* losing most of our food at Arlington because of their employees (just kidding..it was because of the 95 degree heat that was shining directly upon us ALL AFTERNOON)

Sad to say that we have no pics from our daytime adventures, but we did have SOME fun betting the horses, eating melted chocolate, getting sunburns, watching the cousins play together, eating nothing but snacks and ice cream, going to the petting zoo and getting some cool goodie bags. 

I do have a few pics from the nighttime...

Not surprisingly, Pepper's cake did not make it back to the house in one piece.  At least we got a laugh from the fact that it now read "APPY BIRTHDAY" which would have been funnier if Nonno and Nonna were there to see it!  Get it?  Cuz the "H" is silent!  Funny Italian reference...

Just for fun and to cover up the mess, I gave her a great cake topper!

See?  It's the small things that make her happy...

We decided that since we were so late in singing to her, we might as well cover everyone else who had a birthday that had passed or that was coming up in the future.  Yeah, we sang FOUR times.  She wasn't happy that she had to share her cake.  Don't stand between this girl and her desserts!

Someone else was having a fit because his name wasn't mentioned during all the Happy Birthday's that were going around...

Just as we were about to call the day a bust, she got her wish and the PERFECT birthday present!

She did end up riding a pony, albeit 2 months late and it was a PHONY (hehe...you can make the "h" sound or leave it silent...hehe), but do you see her smile?

Like I said...it's the small things...
*

{THIS MOMENT}

{this moment}

A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see. ~ Courtesy of Amanda at SouleMama

{THIS MOMENT}

{this moment}

A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see. ~ Courtesy of Amanda at SouleMama

{THIS MOMENT}

{this moment}

A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see. ~ Courtesy of Amanda at SouleMama

{THIS MOMENT}

{this moment}

A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see. ~ Courtesy of Amanda at SouleMama

 

{THIS MOMENT}

{this moment}

A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see. ~ Courtesy of Amanda at SouleMama

Enjoy your freedom and remember where it came from...

{THIS MOMENT}

{this moment}

A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see. ~ Courtesy of Amanda at SouleMama

THE EAGLES HAVE LANDED!

WOW! How lucky was I to see The Eagles, Dixie Chicks and Keith Urban all in the same night and at Soldier Field, to boot?!? I was moved to tears during several songs that mean so much to me. Hey, side note...it seems like there are a lot of tears flowing lately, no? It's a good thing...I promise! WARNING...pictures aplenty ahead. I had trouble adding my videos, so look for them in a future post. I added The Eagles first, out of respect for my elders (them and my mom...hehe)

THANK YOU SO MUCH TO MY AWESOME BIL, DAVID, FOR THE TICKETS AND PARKING PRIVILEGES!

I was really close to the stage :)

HERE ARE THE EAGLES
IN ALL THEIR GLORY.

Some of the best guitar playing I've ever heard...









AND HERE ARE MY CHICKS...

They have such beautiful voices!

P.S...Thanks mom for applauding them. Your two fingers showed so much enthusiasm. Would it have been too hard to clap with all ten fingers?








AND FINALLY, KEITH URBAN...

Great voice, cute face, and loving husband who had the audience sing Happy Birthday to his wife, Nicole Kidman!

Sorry there aren't that many pics of him, as we (ahem) got there a little late.



All in all, a fantastic evening was had by all except for a few small things.

The following scents do not mix well in hot and humid Chicago weather and made me want to vomit...
*pot
*patchouli
*b.o.

Oh, and this jerk who enjoyed jumping from open seat to open seat without a real ticket for our section but mostly ending up directly behind me and my aunt whilst spitting his chewing tobacco into a cup and trying to entertain the people around him but just riling them up instead whilst spilling said cup of spit and tobacco several times over my aunt's back. Thanks buddy! Your parents would've been embarrassed by you; I know your friends were...

{THIS MOMENT}

{this moment}

A Friday ritual. A single photo - no words - capturing a moment from the week. A simple, special, extraordinary moment. A moment I want to pause, savor and remember. If you're inspired to do the same, leave a link to your 'moment' in the comments for all to find and see. ~ Courtesy of Amanda at SouleMama

SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW

Today was a really sad day. It was Nicholas' last day of preschool and it did not go so well. He was tearful all day about his friends that will be "lost" over the summer. I tried to explain that he would find them in a few months, right back where he left them! We went out to dinner to celebrate his summer freedom and ran into some old friends of ours. They had their three beautiful kids with them and I didn't give it a second thought until I asked how old their youngest is. As my friend said "almost two", Joey reminded me that we both kept getting pregnant at the same time...didn't I remember?

Of course I remember.
Of course I remember all the time.
How could I forget what was "lost"?

Seeing their three kids and our two, how could I forget that a little one was missing from our table? Thank God that we were on our way out because I could not hold the tears back for long. The tears were coming hard and fast, just like the horrible rain storm that had just passed. And then, just as soon as it began, it ended as I turned around and saw a beautiful rainbow shining through all the clouds and rain and sadness.

And then I remembered
somewhere over the rainbow,
our other little one was at God's table
and I thought to myself,
what a wonderful world!

Sometimes it takes darkness
to see the light...

SUPER FAST!!!

HAPPY 2ND BIRTHDAY FRANCESCA!

I am so sad that you aren't my Baby Pepper anymore. You are my Toddler Pepper and it happened SUPER FAST. If you follow your insane and unrelenting love of animals, maybe one day you will become a veterinarian and become my Dr. Pepper!


We took off early in the day for Lamb's Farm. Do any of you know of it? It is a farm located in Libertyville, whose main purpose is to educate, advance and serve adults with disabilities. We have been going there to support them since I was a kid! What a great way to celebrate and show the importance of always giving back to others! Following a tradition set by my mom, where special one-on-one time spent together is a very valued birthday present, we set off to celebrate. We were hoping to avoid the sun and rain. No such luck. We still managed to overcome 90+ weather, no shade, a rain storm, manure, mud, and two very rambunctious boys and have a great time! P.s....thanks so much Nicole, for handling those two boys!

Francesca's love of any and all creatures was overflowing! Although she enjoyed the train ride, she was pouting because all she wanted to do was go back to the horses! Funny...I think there is a VERY SIMILAR picture (or two or twenty) of me pouting on a train years ago. I had been wondering where she got that frown from. :)


Reason #1 why I believe that even though I am not pushing you into it, you are a true vegetarian at heart...


And reason #2...
Yeah, when you said "eewww...yucky!!!", you took the words right out of my mouth!


Your Grandma was so happy to watch you enjoy your special day! Every single time she takes a ride in her wheelchair, you are right there by her side, holding on and slowing your pace so you can just be there with her. You two have such a great bond! Even though you are a toddler now, you will always be "her baby"!


The peacock was both of our favorites!


What birthday would be complete without a few more traditions? Of course we met Daddy and went to The Choo Choo Restaurant!


You decided to eat nothing but sugar! I wasn't happy about it, but it doesn't happen that often. You ate cake, but you aren't a cake eater! Ha ha..a quick Park Ridge reference thrown in!





After all the excitement and sugar, you were nowhere near ready for bedtime so we took off for our favorite park. For the next hour, all you did was scream "SUPER FAST", as in "push me super fast on the swing, mama!"

And I did.
And I cried.
And the last 2 years went by

SUPER FAST :(
.